One of the things that I have been reflecting on this week, is the importance that just one small thing done for us, can have when we are feeling down. It might be one comment that we receive, one offer of support, a meal prepared or an impromptu invite received. I know I have talked about acts of kindness here before, but somehow what I am meaning here is more than just an act of kindness. It might be something that is so important to one person, but which we have no idea about at the time when we do it. Still, it reaches out to that other, and perhaps has them feeling included, releases them from the burden of worry, gives them some ideas about how to move forward or helps them feel seen.
So what do I mean by this? As you know, I've had some renovations done to my house recently.
Read moreAfter 30 years as a counsellor, I sometimes feel like I've heard it all. This is, of course, until a new person walks through my door with the stories that make them unique, and almost immediately I am hooked. As I listen to those stories, and while I take notice of what it is that they want to work on, I usually find myself feeling incredibly privileged that they have chosen to share their vulnerability with me. One such person is a middle-aged man, who has three young children. In his early forties, he works as a health professional assisting young people during the day, and in his free time follows hobbies which many of us enjoy.
Read moreSo, picture this! I was sitting over a glass of wine with a friend a couple of weeks ago. We were both lamenting the fact that she hasn't yet fallen pregnant, something which she and her husband have been wanting to do for some years now.
"The thing is Lou!" she said, with the usual straight-forward approach, which always makes me grin. "To fall pregnant, you have to have sex!"
"Hmm," I said in agreement. "Damn! I take it you and Jack are not?"
"No!" she said, sounding at once sad and disappointed. "No, we're not! I'd be lucky if it happened every few months, and even then I feel like it's a duty for him!"
Well as a woman many years her senior, I found myself wanting to give her a huge hug.
Read moreOne of the things that I have been reflecting on this week is how we cope, or sometimes don't cope, with misunderstandings.
Read moreTonight, it hits me that in the last two months, several of my family members and friends have had parents die, and some of them are preparing for funerals this week.
And as I've heard the news, I've been aware of wanting to get the balance right in my response; have had the feeling that I'm sure we've all had at times, that words are just not enough. I know this topic is often talked about ... what do we say? How should we recognise someone else's grief? How do we get it out to them that we feel their pain if they are shattered, but that we are also not telling them what or how they should feel?
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