When people come to see me as a counsellor, they often talk about how they are having sleeping problems!
They are either like me, and can't get off to sleep at night, or they wake in the middle of the night, and can't go back to sleep. And of course, if it's no news to me in the counselling room, well also it's one of the most commonly talked about things on the major health websites. It's in bookshops, on YouTube, on the radio ... there's so much information out there about how to get good sleep, that you might be forgiven for wondering, what could I possibly have to add to the equation?
Well I guess that my main advice to you, would be two-pronged. Firstly, if you are having problems in this arena, give them some attention! No, it doesn't mean that this lack of sleep needs to become the only thing that you focus on in your day, but if you are starting to feel exhausted and anxious as you think about sleep, like a lot of things, ignoring it won't make it go away!
So, have a think about what it is that is getting in the way of a good night's sleep. Are you worrying about something in particular? Are you feeling some emotion that you can't get out during the day, and which bubbles to the surface at night as you re-run your day in your mind? Are you angry? Sad? Lonely? Excited? Frustrated? Bored? When did you first notice the problem?
Now, I'm a talk therapist, so — of course I'm going to say that if your answer to these questions is yes, you might just need to talk about it to someone! It might be to a friend, your partner, a family member — or a counsellor. Get it out into the open with someone you trust!
And while that's a great long-term plan, if you are wondering how to cope when you are tossing and turning at night? That's okay — try this strategy that usually works a treat for me. Keep some paper handy and write. Now if you are a journaller like me, it might be that you already have your journal near your bed. Great. Open it, and begin to write. Or, it might be that you have never got into the habit of writing, well ... there's no time like the present to start. Have a pad of paper by your bed, pick it up and ... start to write down anything — your thoughts, the noises you can hear around you or outside, what you'd like to have said today in that conversation that is bugging you, what you'd like to have for breakfast, or how much you hate the colour of your sheets. The bottom line is, I've always found that paper is a great listener. It's ever-patient! It's not critical, and it doesn't usually run out. Make use of it and remember that it will also help you to organise your thoughts so that when you are ready to talk, in the light of day, you know what you want to say.
And of course, I did say that my suggestions would be two-pronged. Well in short, my second piece of advice is that you should pay attention to some of the information that is out there on sleep and sleep hygiene. It's interesting, and it's prolific. Research is suggesting now that getting the right amount of sleep helps us to avoid major medical problems as we grow older, and the impacts of not getting enough sleep on our mental health are well-researched also. So, try to slide between the sheets at a similar time each night. Notice your triggers — if drinking coffee, smoking a cigarette or having a shower before bed wakes you up, then don't do any of the above! Try for 7-8 hours of sleep, and realise that no, that doesn't mean 2 hours of surfing on Facebook or Instagram before lights out. Consider playing some relaxing music or trying a meditation, and before you go to bed, explore some of the apps that are out there to help you. There are some which will record your sleep, others which will play sounds like rain or the ocean. I know that popular advice seems to be to not do things like look at screens, but sometimes I will play a Podcast or audio book softly; I find that if I am anxious about not getting enough sleep, this gives me something else to think about.
Need a quick reminder on some positive sleep tips? Have a look at the below link:
5 Tips For Falling Asleep Quicker, According To A Sleep Expert
https://youtu.be/ZKNQ6gsW45M